Review: Disney on Ice Princess Wishes

There was tension in the air as thousands of young ladies crowded into Cleveland’s Quicken Loans arena waiting to see their favorite princesses compete for the title of… I don’t know, best-skating princess? Not since Tonya Harding tried to take out Nancy Kerrigan had an ice skating event been this anticipated. Not since the circus left town had this many children been this sugared up on $7 cotton candy in one room.

The competition got off to a slow start as Tinkerbell—NOT a princess, by the way—skated awkwardly around the ice and waved a wand around. She would show up repeatedly throughout the event with nary a purpose besides stealing the limelight.

Then Aladdin showed up. Hello? We want PRINCESSES! After some sort of hijinks with Aladdin and the genie with Robin Williams’ voice, finally, finally! Jasmine showed up. Alladin and Jasmine ice danced beautifully and the show was finally kicked into high gear.

While almost all of the princesses were represented in some sort of skating routine, it was clear that the judges favored Ariel and Cinderella, giving them loads of extra time on the ice. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, Mulan—all whisked away too soon, too soon. Poor Pocohontas never even got to lace up her skates.

In the ultimate battle, Ariel was clearly the winner, at least with her sugar coma’d fans in the stands, who could barely see straight by the time Cinderelly made her apperarance. While Cindy tried to win the crowd with some neat tricks, including shooting fireworks from her chariot, the young ladies gave the gold medal to Ariel.

Long live the queen!

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